Problem:

Take a file full of SQL queries and surround the values in the first paren only with backticks. As the sample queries show, there aren't a set number of values in the query.

Solution:

Grab all the values out of the first set of parens, use Perl's split and join to surround each value with backticks, and print out the result.

Sample line:
INSERT INTO seen (nick, "when", "where", what) 
    VALUES ('RiSE', '2003-08-03 20:42:04-05', '#foo', 'Part');

INSERT INTO seen (nick, "when", "where", what, something) 
    VALUES ('RiSE', '2003-08-03 20:42:04-05', '#foo', 'Part');

INSERT INTO seen (nick, "when", "where", what, something, else) 
    VALUES ('RiSE', '2003-08-03 20:42:04-05', '#foo', 'Part');

Parser:
#!/usr/bin/perl

while(<>)
{
# if the line has has parens then process it, otherwise just print the line out
   if(/^([^(]+\()	# match some number of nonparens, then a paren,
      			# and put it into the  variable

      (.*?)		# match anycharacter, but as few as possible, so you
      			# don't go past the very next closing paren.  Then put
			# what you match in  variable

      (\).*$)		# match a closing paren, and anything else up to the
      			# end of the line.  put it in the  variable
      /x)
   {
      $a=$1;	# store these temporary variables somewhere
      $b=$2;
      $c=$3;

      $b =~ s/"//g;	# strip any quotes (could strip other 'bad' chars here)
      
      $b = "`" . 	# start with an opening backtick
      	join("`, `", 	# join each item from the array output from the 
			# following split command into a single string, with	
			# each item separated with `, `

		split(/,\s*/, $b))	# this split command takes each comma
					# delimited item and splits it into an
					# individual string in an array

	  . "`"; 	# put the closing ` on the string


      print "$a$b$c\n";
   }
   else
   {
      print;
   }
}